victoriarch: crescent moon against a daytime-blue sky (dreams)
[personal profile] victoriarch
Disclaimer: this dream is very confusing to explain, so I can't promise that it will make sense. I recommend not reading it at all, to spare yourself the frustration. Srsly, it's kind of boring, and I'm not even gonna try to write this well, because it's just not worth the effort.


I dreamed about a famous Youtube personality who, in my dream, looked very similar to Youtube user 'Paint' (that singer who made the Disney Princess parodies and LOTR/Harry Potter in 99 Seconds). I'll continue to call this character 'Paint' because this character was not a real person so I don't have any other name to call him by.

Anyways, Paint uploaded a meme of him meeting Johnny Depp. Remember those old instagram memes that Officialsabrina_xo used to upload? Yes, it was in that same format, with multiple captioned selfies of Paint using different facial expressions to represent his captions. This meme was composed of six pictures, with 2 columns and 3 rows (unlike Officialsabrina_xo's 2 columns and 2 rows). This Meme was basically an extended reaction to Paint having met Johnny Depp. In other words, Paint ran into Johnny Depp on accident when he was out and about. He then came home and made this meme to tell everyone how it made him feel. There are the captions that were in each box of the meme (also each box contained a Paint selfie that represented the captions, but I don't remember what his face looked like in each box):

Row 1
frame 1 = ['What I thought of JD when I was little']
frame 2 = [How I would have felt if I saw JD when I was little']

Row 2
frame 3 = ['What I thought of JD when I was a teenager']
frame 4 = ['How I would have felt if I saw JD when I was a teenager']

Row 3
frame 5 = ['What I think of JD now']
frame 6 = ['How I felt when I saw JD']

In frame 5 & 6, Paint made it very apparent that he didn't care for Johnny Depp, and he was incredibly underwhelmed by meeting the actor. Not a fan.

Then my dream changed. I was at my town's amphitheatre on the lawn seats. There were lots and lots of other people also sitting on the lawn seats. And Paint was there, and he was doing a facial imitation of Johnny Depp. He was walking around to all the people on the lawn, and he was sticking his face out at them while he did his impression. Everyone was super impressed they were like 'whoahohoah' (that's literally what they all said). After a while of showing off to the people, Paint finally sat down on the lawn, very close to me. I overheard him talking with his manager. (Why does a youtube personality need a manager? idk). Suddenly I realized that everyone here in the Amp was one of Paint's subscribers & fans, and they were all here to watch the premier of Paint's new youtube video (which was ALSO about his experience meeting Johnny Depp). The youtube video was going to play on the Amp's stage while we watched from the lawn.

Then my dream changed, and I was in my bedroom. This part of the dream was very strange because it was like there were two stories going on at once- two parallel dimensions, in which events were happening at the same time yet separately. In one dimension, I was in my bathroom preparing to take a shower. In the other dimension, a child version of Youtuber Shane Dawson was standing in my shower (clothed). AS Shane stood in the shower, an Awareness was recounting the story of how his grandmother and her boyfriend both sexually abused kid Shane. I can't repeat the Awareness's story word-for-word, but I do remember it using phrases like 'grandmom's boyfriend was like a father-figure' and 'Shane just had so much love in his heart' and 'grandmom's boyfriend was like having a hired army because she could tell him to go and threaten [with violence] teachers at Shane's school, and he would dO it' (I also remember that the boyfriend was a head police officer (which is why grandmom could/did use him to violently threaten people she didn't like)). And, yeah, it talked about how they both raped Shane.

In the other dream dimension (the one where I was in the bathroom getting ready for a shower), I grabbed a box of tampons from the bathroom cabinet and went into my sister's, Alexia's, room. I asked Alexia if I could hide the box somewhere in her room so that my other sister, Brianna, couldn't use it. But then it occurred to me that I might NEED tampons at some point, so I should leave the tampons in the cabinet and jUST hide the box. So I was like, 'I need to hide this box in here so Brianna can't get it.' But at that moment Brianna sensed we were talking about her, so she barged into Alexia's room and asked us what was going on. I'd been caught. That's when I woke up.


Dream Meaning

This dream is very difficult to interpret. The past 3 dreams that I've recorded on here were very clear, but this one is very vague and all over the place and not really about stuff that's super important to me.

Anyways, I dreamed about Johnny Depp because yesterday on tumblr I saw a JD quote on my dash, and I started thinking about how his wife accused him of sexual assault several months ago. (This next bit may sound very petty, but it was really just a random casual conversation I was having with myself because that's what you do when you're mindlessly browsing the internet): The thought crossed my mind that I could never reblog a Johnny Depp quote or a David Bowie quote, etc, because I don't want to communicate that I condone their actions of sexual assault. I know that some of my followers might be very unhappy with me for reblogging it. BUt at the same time, I thought 'well just because they sexually assaulted someone doesn't mean that the quote itSELF isn't valid and relevant, etc.' But then I was like, 'but no, I still don't want my followers to think badly of me.' Yeah. it was just one of those random, pointless, petty conversation that don't actually MATTER in the grand scheme of your life, ya know? HoWEVER, I know the underlying emotion in this conversation was one of me wanting to meet other people's expectations. Because when I talk about music or movies or celebrities, I want to have the 'correct' opinion so that people don't judge me. This portion of my dream with Paint & Johnny Depp represented my desire to be socially informed for the sole purpose of not being judged by others. (I'm sure this is a confusing conclusion for anyone except me, but that's okay, because I'm the only one who needs to understand my dream)

The part of my dream with Shane is even harder to understand. It probably has very little to do with the actual person Shane Dawson. I don't know why I would dream about him; I don't even like or watch his videos? The fact that he was child and the fact that he was standing in a bathtub behind a shower curtain matters, because that communicates themes of vulnerability & secrecy. It also matters that his grandmother raped him, because she was someone who should have been protecting him not hurting him. This person- who should have been protecting him not hurting him- also gave a dangerous stranger access to him. I don't understand what any of this means in the context of my own life. It could have something to do with feeling vulnerable to certain authority figures who I wish I was able to trust and confide in. But I can't say so with certainty.

The last part of my dream was just a manifestation of a feeling that comes over me ever so often. My sister Alexia and Leah share a room. Sometimes I go into their room and talk to Leah about Lifeā„¢. Sometimes we talk about Brianna. When we do, I'm always concerned that Brianna might overhear us from her room. I'm concerned that she'll walk in on us. I also sometimes feel the need to hide personal items so that Brianna doesn't use them. This part of the dream was literally just a manifestation of those feelings.

So yeah, this was a VERY confusing dream about VERY petty topics. It's kind of embarrassing tbh.


TLDR: I dreamed about Youtuber making a reaction meme; it represents my fear of being judged by others for not being socially informed enough. I also dreamed about a child being raped by his grandmother and her boyfriend; I couldn't figure out what that meant. It then dreamed about me trying to hide a box of tampons from my sister; it represents me talking about her behind her back.


victoriarch: screencap of Haruhi Fujioka with the sunset behind him (Default)

October 2016


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