Aug. 11th, 2016

victoriarch: crescent moon against a daytime-blue sky (dreams)
I dreamed that my entire school population (which is a preK through 12th grade) was spending a few nights at a hotel. I'd been swimming in the hotel's swimming pool, and I was getting out to go to back to my room. I had been swimming with no top on- not even a bathing suit top. And at that point in my dream, I didn't even question why I wasn't wearing a top. I just draped a towel over my shoulders and began walking to the elevator.

To get to the elevator, I had to walk through this huge hotel banquet room with tables and tables and tables of nicely-dressed people eating. Brendon Urie was also singing in this room (this is literally the seventh or eighth dream I've had with Brendon Urie this month wtf). And I was marching straight through the room topless in wet bathing suit shorts with a wet towel hanging off my shoulders, and I hardly even thought twice about it.

until I reached the end of the room.

This banquet room opened straight to a little foyer where the elevator was. And it was about the time that I reached this foyer that I realized that I didn't have a shirt on, and that most people would probable be extremely offended by the fact that I don't have a shirt on, as I am female, AND because my entire [BAPTIST/CONSERVATIVE] school comprised half of the hotel's attendance.

At the elevator, an entire class of young elementary students (I'd say 2nd grade or younger) was standing in two lines next to their teacher, waiting to go up the elevator. I was just like 'oh shit I'm gonna get in so much trouble when this teacher sees me. I adjusted my towel so that it was covering my upper body, and I stood nervously waiting for the elevator to arrive. She never called me out on it.

Then my dream changed, and I was in the car with my family. I'm not sure where we were headed, but, as we drove, I mentioned to my mom that I still haven't stopped by Jump Zone to perform some task I was supposed to perform after quitting my job there several months ago (I don't remember what this dream-task was; I think I was supposed to pick up a paper?).

And my mom was like, 'Oh well Jump Zone's right over there! Let's stop really there really quickly.'

We pulled into the Jump Zone parking lot, and I was like, 'Umm the parking lot is completely empty; I think it's closed.'

Mom said, 'Well just go up to the door and check.'

So I went up to the door and saw my old manager (who I'll call Melissa) at the desk with another Jump Zone employee. I stepped inside, and realized the Jump Zone arena was FULL of children despite the empty parking lot outside. Melissa saw me and immediately burst into tears. She was like, 'I can't believe you came back; I'm so proud of you.' (She wasn't crying because she missed me, she was crying because I was proud of me for doing what I was supposed to do. I don't know how else to explain it). She handed me the paper I'd come to get. I also waved at a few dormer coworkers, then I walked out.

My parents were still sitting in the car in the parking lot, and they said something to me about how one side of the parking lot had a force field so other people couldn't get in. I saw my sister Leah running towards the car from the other side of 'the force field', and I was afraid that she was going to hurt herself when she hit it. But she ran right through it. If there was a force field, it didn't affect her.

---

Dream Meaning

I mean, everyone knows that dreaming you're naked/in your underwear/etc in a public place signifies things like fear of being exposed/fear of judgement/internalized shame/insecurity/guilt/etc. STuff along those lines. I like how dreammoods.com (lol dream websites) says,

'To dream that you are naked denotes fear of being found out and exposed over your activities. You feel that you are being misjudged. To dream that you suddenly discover your nudity and are trying to cover up signifies your vulnerability to a situation.'

I've said this in every dream I've written about so far, but I have been feeling very vulnerable lately. Between talking to my family, hanging out with friends, and writing about personal stuff on websites like this, I've been forcing myself into situations where I feel judged and not accepted... Which isn't a great thing to feel in the wake of all the spiritual change I've been experiencing lately. When you're going through a time of spiritual change and growth, it's not good to feel like your environment is going to punish you for those changes. This dream is yet another manifestation of those feeling of vulnerability.

Side note: I've been listening to a lot of P!atD lately, and Brendon's been showing up in a lot of my dreams as a result. :P

As for the second part of my dream, I've had a lot of insecurities when it comes to my old job at Jump Zone. I always felt like the managers there didn't like me because I wasn't good at making conversation with them. I also was really bad about listening to the voicemails Melissa sent me. And after I quit my job there, it was several weeks before I got around to returning my uniform. And even then, my mom returned them FOR me while she was running errands. Every time I think of Jump Zone, I feel a tiny bit anxious only because I feel like I have some unfinished business there. As if there was some job I was supposed to do, but I forgot.

Yesterday, several friends came over to swim (which is also part of the reason for the swimming in the first part of my dream), and I briefly talked with them about my old job at Jump Zone. I guess that short conversation reawakened some job-related insecurity in me, which manifested itself in my dream last night.

---

TLDR: I dreamed I was topless in a hotel banquet room, and that my old manager cried when I went to my old workplace. The first half of my dream represents my feelings of spiritual vulnerability, and the second half of my dream represents insecurities I have about my old job.

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