victoriarch: crescent moon against a daytime-blue sky (moon)
[personal profile] victoriarch
I dreamed I was going to Silver Dollar City with my sisters and cousins. Before entering the amusement park, we sat down for a while in a weird, white, tunnel-like waiting room. While we sat there, I bragged to my family that I'd spent so much time at SDC in the past, that I'd memorized where all the rides were. I didn't even need a map. so impressive imao (Though, In my head, I actually wasn't 100% confident that I actually had memorized the SDC terrain; I wasn't intentionally lying my sister/cousins, but deep inside me i was questioning myself. but I was also ignoring the fact that i was questioning myself. idk. probably doesn't make sense)

Then my dream changed, and I think I was at my cousin Gigi's house. My sisters Leah and Alexa were there, and the three of us were getting ready to go to a Mariah Carey concert. I informed my 13yo brother, James, that the 3 of us were going to the MC concert. He suddenly got all smug and acted like he knew something I didn't know. I didn't try to figure out what was up.

The scene changed, and I was in a large field with Leah and Alexa. People were pouring into this field, all headed toward the far end where the concert stage was. Leah, Alexa, and I were relatively close to the front of the concert-going crowd, so we were destined to land reasonable seats near the front of the lawn. Indeed, we stopped walking when we were as close to the stage as we were possibly gonna get in this crowd, and I thought to myself, ehh this isn't bad. now lets focus on making sure nobody tries to crowd us out of our seats.

Then, to my mild horror, Leah and Alexa apparently changed their minds cause they got up and started walking away to find different seats. In my head I was like, guys it's not gonna get better than this; what r u doing??. But I ran after them because I wasn't about to be left on my own.

When I turned to follow them, I suddenly wasn't in the field anymore. It was still a Mariah Carey concert, and people were still pouring into the venue, but now the concert was in my school auditorium. And the concert-goers were now seating themselves in our school's red cushion chairs, facing the stage. During my dream, this change didn't really register with me. I just went with the flow and focused on running after my sisters.

That's when I saw my brother James seated all by himself at the end of one row. He was in a decent location, so I quickly sat down beside him and was like, "James! I didn't know u were coming to this concert." (that explained his smug reaction when I'd told him that Leah, Alexa, and I were going). I added, "I do not know any Mariah Carey songs, so I wonder how this is gonna go."

While I talked with James, a mother & father & daughter walked up onto the stage with their arms over each other's shoulder, as if protecting each other. The stage was emitting tiny fireworks- little explosions, each the size of a quarter- and the family was trying not to get hit by these fireworks. I don't know what that family was trying to achieve in the long run by mounting the stage, but in my dream I semi-understood that the family was helping to set up the Show, and the fireworks were to help people get excited before the show. But man that family looked scared.

While I waited for Mariah to come on, I had the sudden urge to go on the computer. So, I stood up and walked over to the right-side wall of the gymnasium. The concert venue changed AGAIN, and now I was in 'the playroom' ('the playroom' is what our family calls the media room where our family computer is set up). All the concert goers were still in their seats, except now they were in a much smaller room, and now they were facing the projector wall in our media room instead of the stage in my school's gymnasium. And, again, I did not resister the change; I just went with the flow and went on the computer, and I didn't even think about the room changing.

I clicked on a youtube video, and while I waited for it to load, it occurred to me that I didn't want anyone in the room to hear me watching the youtube video. People would look at me. And that would be embarrassing. So I turned down the volume. The volume bar decreased until it indicated that the computer's sound was muted. But deep in my stomach I just knew that the video's sound was gonna play anyways. Sure enough, the video started playing, and the sound came out at a reasonable volume. I frantically tried to ex out of safari, but safari wouldn't close. I tried to change my user, but the user wouldn't change. I tried to turn off the computer, but the computer wouldn't turn off. And it wasn't like a normal computer bug where the screen freezes up or the none of the buttons are clickable. I could CLICK the buttons & they'd respond to my cursor, but they wouldn't perform their functions. Nothing would close or turn off. I was freaking out because people were starting to look at me. finally I just reached over and pulled the computer's plug. I was so embarrassed.

---

Dream Meaning

UGH most of my dreams are very clearly manifestations of feeling or things that happen in my day-to-day life. And when I wake up I can usually make immediate connections. BUT I HAVE NO IDEA WITH THIS ONE. It's such a weird dream. I'll do my best to figure it out though.

I'll start by listing notable moments, or moments that had feelings attached to them:
-bragging about knowing my way around SDC
-not wanting my sisters to change seats and lose the decent seats we already had
-being concerned that I wouldn't enjoy the concert bc I don't know any Mariah Carey music (i srsly can't even name one song she's ever written/sang. I just know her name).
-the volume not turning down, the computer not doing what I was telling it to do despite appearing to be fully functional. Finally pulling the plug on it.
-I didn't really have a lot of feelings about the family on the stage with the mini fireworks, but I guess that's a prominent visual image.
-also wtf was up with the shrinking concert venue??
-is it important that I was with Leah and Alexa? with James?

First of all, SDC is a place I've been to twice (both times for school field trips). I do NOT know my way around SDC irl, but i did indeed do a lot of walking there (which is a sensational memory that occurred during that part of my dream, and it was the reason I was so convinced that I knew my way around). Even in my dream, I couldn't actually recall knowing where everything was; I just remembered that I'd spent so much time walking, so I ASSUMED i had enough SDC experience to know my way around. With that sensation in mind, it would make sense that this part of my dream represents my current feelings about life: right now I'm super worried about getting accepted into a good art college, being able to pay for said art college, having my portfolio ready to apply for said art college, etc. I keep trying to convince myself that I know what I'm doing just because I'm good at art and I have resources at my finger tips and surely everything will work out bc everything in my life has worked out up till now. I say I know what I'm doing, but deep down there's this sense of uncertainty that I can't shake. That's the same feeling that the first part of my dream carried.

As far as the lawn seats go, I get feeling like that a lot. Anytime I get something good, I'm always very worried that it will be taken away from me or something will happen to make it less enjoyable. For instance, in my first day of Painting Class this semester, I claimed my usual seat from part years and I was very happy that no one took it from me. But a bunch of freshman came and sat down beside me. And I got the same disappointed/desperate feeling i got in my stomach when Leah and Alexa got up to move in my dream. It was like I got something good but there was someone always had to mess it up. Also, considering that Leah and Alexa were part of this segment of my dream, I think this win/loss feeling is directly related to IRL Leah & Alexa moving away to college. Ever since they moved out, I now have my own bedroom (for the first time in my life I have my own bedroom wtf!!!!!!!!!). But Leah and Alexa are my best friends. I talk to them about everything. So,,,,, I got something good (my own room; solitude' peace' happiness), but at what cost (not having the two most stable people in my life here to chat with me every single day).

^^That's just a guess tbh. I think it's a good guess, but like i said I can't detect any clear meanings in this dream like I usually can. It's so weird?? wtf

I'm most curious about the shrinking concert. The venue went from a giant field to a gymnasium to a media room with a projection screen. I'm not sure if this actually has meaning, or if the venue was just a means to put different meaningful situations in my dream. Like the field gave me my experience with my sisters. The gymnasium gave me my experience with my smug lil brother. the computer room gave me the experience with the computer. Whatever it was, it's important that there was a large crowd in every single venue. In the field, the crowd meant competition and people who might steal my seat. in the media room, the crowd was people who could intrude upon the personal information on my computer.

I'll finish this fail interpretation attempt with the non-functioning dream computer: the computer represents me feeling vulnerable- like people are gonna find out things about me that I don't want them to know or misinterpret, and feeling like there's nothing I can do about it. Vulnerability and powerlessness are the two most reoccurring subjects in my dreams.

time to pull the plug :P

I'm not even gonna bother putting a TLDR on this. It wasn't coherent and I have homework to finish. wtf am I doing. sorry that I'm so bad at writing dreams. It's hard :///
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victoriarch: screencap of Haruhi Fujioka with the sunset behind him (Default)
victoryarch

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