victoriarch: crescent moon against a daytime-blue sky (moon)
[personal profile] victoriarch
I don't remember the chronology of my dream; I only remember snippets of various situations with various characters.

At one point, I dreamed that the Haikyuu characters from Aoba Josai were practicing plays for their upcoming volleyball tournament. This impending tournament would be their seniors' last, so they were working especially hard to prepare. Yahaba and Iwaizumi planned out a play where Yahaba would jump onto Iwaizumi's back (piggy back style) to spike the ball over the net. I thought to myself, it's counterproductive for Yahaba to jump on Iwaizumi's back. He should just jump like normal so he can get more height. But Yahaba and Iwa proved that their method was higher. I was suprised, and I didn't understand.

I also dreamed I explored a haunted house.(This dream is very very hazy). The haunted house was a public attraction in the basement of a very large building. You just descended into the house's hallway and explored the various rooms attached to the hall. An old man stood out in the hallway, ready to assist people that may have questions/etc, but I don't know why anyone would even need his assistance. It was very chill and not scary; the rooms were just dark (a greeny sort of dark, for visual), and they had a lot of interesting, discarded object laying around like dolls or old arcade machines. In my dream, I walked into a couple of the bedrooms. I remember one door wouldn't open for me, and the old man said something to me that I don't remember at all.

In the next segment of my dream, my school had turned into a fortress, a castle. It still looked like my school always looks, but it was somehow simultaneously a fortress. And there was a battle going on. I was fighting in the battle, and so were most of the people who attend my school, but I have know idea who we were fighting against.

During the battle, my friends and I were in a Group with one adult mother-like figure. She was large, and she knew what was going on, and was there to protect us. But there was a moment when our army needed to send one regiment to the front lines to face the enemy head on; it was essential in order to defeat the enemy. My friend Cameron was picked to be part of that regiment. They headed out quickly. Our mother figure told us that Cameron was probably going to die.

Then we waited. We waited for Cameron and her regiment to do whatever they set out to do. Our mother figure had her arms around us as we all huddled between two walls on the side of the school building, safe from danger. She was quietly counting down seconds- like seconds toward an explosion- and we all knew she was counting seconds towards The Moment. The Moment when Cameron would either live or die and her regiment would either succeed or fail. When our mother figure got down to ten seconds, I thought to myself, surely Cameron isn't going to die. Surely that wasn't my last time seeing her, but at the same time I knew that it was.

Out mother figure reached zero. There was an explosion in the parking lot on the front side of the building. We ran to the parking lot. Cameron wasn't there. She had died.

The Enemy wasn't there either. We had won.

But what were we going to tell Cameron's mom when she came to pick Cameron up from school?

Suddenly, Cameron was with us. She was just suddenly there with us on the parking lot. But it wasn't the same Cameron who had died. She told us that she came from an alternate universe so that we didn't have to mourn her death; she'd just live out the rest of her life in this universe, and we'd go on like nothing ever happened.

He mom had arrived and was waiting at the end of the parking lot for Cameron to get in the car. WE walked Cameron to her car, and I wondered if she would ever tell her mom that the version of herself from this universe had died. In my stomach, I still felt very very unsettled knowing that in some alternate universe, Cameron was still gone and there we were still mourning her loss. I didn't feel happy. I didn't know how to feel.

I also dreamed of my mom giving me driving instructions. She told me that I always HAVE to wear sunglasses when I drive a car. If I don't, the sun will reflect on the road, and light will come at me like a wall, blinding me.

Then I dreamed I was at a Smosh conecert. I do not know what 'Smosh" is. I feel like they're youtubers, not a band. But I'm not sure. In my dream they were a punk band. but they were the type of punk band that nobody actually thinks is cool except 30 yo white guys who are oblivious to Life. My friend Grace complained to me about her brother going to the Smosh concert/him liking Smosh/etc (I did indeed see her brother while I was briefly present at the smosh concert).

Also I should add that this 'Smosh concert' was set up like a little kids sunday school class. like there were a total of about 30 blue plastic chairs in a yellow-ish church room, and Smosh was performing at the front.

Then I dreamed I was in the foyer at my house ( the little area between the front door, the TV area, and the kitchen). The kitchen chairs were all placed out by the TV area couches where mom always puts them when she's cleaning the kitchen floor. Cameron and Grace were sitting by the pinao. Fall Out Boy and Twenty One Pilots and a red headed man named Tyler were sitting in the kitchen chairs. Tyler Oakly was standing by my fridge, eating. Another band was sitting on the stairs.

I had a pack of t shirts. Anyone who I gave a t shirt to would get to perform at the upcoming festival. If I didn't hand them a t shirt, then they would not get to perform. As I handed out the t shirts, I conversed & joked around with the band members, but the entire time I was very self-concious of Cameron and Grace listening to my conversation

---

Dream Meaning

I love Haikyuu and I read/watch/think about it a lot for fun, so I'm not at all surprised that I dreamed about them. My most prominent feeling during this part of the dream was confusion. I didn't understand how Yahaba and Iwaizumi could work together that way and still play efficiently. I was also nervous that they were wasting too much time practicing a play that wouldn't work in a real match. They only had so many hours to prepare for the seniors' final tournament, so why not perfect their usual plays instead of trying to invent new plays that may not work? It was nerve-warcking.

This is a similar emotion that I have towards my art as I prepare for National Portfolio Day in October. Every single time I sit down to draw, I'm terrified that my work will turn out horribly, and that I'll have spent hours and hours and hours working on something that just isn't good enough.
So that's shitty I guess. But in my dream, Yahaba and Iwaizumi proved that their play worked. It actually did make them jump higher. So I just have to keep drawing. Whether my drawings are good or bad, I need them for my portfolio. They're the only way I'm gonna get into my preferred colleges, so I have to have more faith in myself when I sit down to draw.

I think houses/unfamiliar rooms/haunted houses traditionally symbolize repressed emotions or fears or something. But this part of my dream is so hazy that I don't know if I can pull anything from it. I'm not even gonna try because the other parts of my dream are more interesting.

The battle was the most interesting and vivid part of my dream. I wish it was easier to understand. Most of my dreams are defined by feelings of vulnerability, but I don't remember feeling particularly vulnerable in this part of my dream. On the contrary, I had a mother-figure who was looking out for me. I hope this means that I'm being looked after/guarded on the spiritual plane.

The school was probably a fortress bc a school is supposed to be a place where you are safe. (even though I feel very uncomfortable at my evangelical school, bc I am queer, I am not a christian, and that's obviously a BIG problem to them. Maybe this battle was a manifestation of that conflict within me).

I suppose the most prominent feeling I felt during this battle was helplessness. It's similar to vulnerability but definitely not the same thing. Vulnerability means you feel like you're at the mercy of others; you can't help your self. Helplessness means you feel you have no control over a situation, whether it's an inability to help yourself or others. In this case, I couldn't save Cameron from dying. The event was happening remotely from me and there was nothing I could do about it. I also couldn't do anything about alternate universe that now lacked a living Cameron. I also had no control over how Cameron's mom would feel about the entire situation.

All of this was happening in Cameron's personal life. it was outside of my control. It probably wasn't even my business.

TBH that's the way I feel about Cameron irl too. I feel like she has a lot going on in her personal life that I don't know about, that I shouldn't know about, and that I can't help her with. I hope she ends up ok.

Maybe that whole section of the dream was just about my feelings toward Cameron. idk. I liked the mother-figure. She told me the truth and she protected me. I hope she's still protecting me (?)

The whole band/t shirt part of the dream happened bc Grace and Cameron have been talking a lot about music and concerts in my presence lately. And I'm insecure about my music tastes in general (I SHOULD ADD THAT I DON'T EVEN REALLY LIKE FOB OR 21 PILOTS THAT MUCH. I DON'T KNOW WHO SMOSH IS. I KNOW WHO TYLER OAKLY IS BUT I DON'T CARE(??) ABOUT HIM(?)) just wanted to add that as a disclaimer. idk y they were in my dream. But yeah, I'm insecure about the music I listen to, and this was just a manifestaion of that feeling.

---

TLDR: I dreamed about Haikyuu characters, haunted houses, my friend dying in battle, and giving t shirts to random bands; my dream manifested feelings of nervousness (about my art portfolio), feelings of helplessness (in my friends' lives), and feelings of insecurity (about the music I listen to).
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victoryarch

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